Obs and Family

I am finally starting to adjust to my life. This life of being a "senior" resident. This life of living apart from my husband. This life of stresses.

I am anjoying my Obstetrical Anesthesia rotation much more than I thought I would. The whole process of bringing new life into the world is absolutely incredible. I only have a small role to play, but an important one. Not only do I love being able to take someone who is out of control with pain and 15 minutes later see the smile on their face as they are finally able to relax for a bit, but helping someone through a stressful and often scary event by keeping them comfortable and composed, and having both events culminate in the greatest miracle. The miracle of life. No wonder my friends Christine and Angela love their jobs as much as they do. I couldn't do what they do (Obs), but I love my part in all of it.

Again, I have the tiniest feeling when I see all of these tiny faces and hands and feet: I have so much love to give. Could I love one of these little, helpless, humans? What would I be like as a parent? But then the smart part of me takes ahold, the driven part: Are you crazy? You are having problems coping now with studying, exams, etc.! This is not the time! That part always wins. As I said, it is a TINY feeling. Fleeting really.

The thought does help me think about what is really important in life: Family. Even if that family happens to be two furry little faces who run to the door when I come home. Even if that family happens to live over 250km away. Even if that family is sometimes so different from me I can barely believe we are related. You can't pick your family, but you are sure glad about the ones you have.

It is funny how life tries to teach us different lessons. Through work, books, experiences. You just have to choose to listen.