Anniversary Blues

Today is my Anniversary. Three years Jurgen and I have been together. Three years and he is still my best friend, my role model, my lover. But, I am sad today. I was oncall last night, and about 11:30pm I got an outside page. I wasn't quick enough to get to it in time before whomever it was had hung up. Then, this morning I checked my phone and there was a text message from Jurgen saying that it was him who had tried to call, and that he hoped I had a happy anniversary. I cried. Sweet, but very sad.

Is this what we have been reduced to? Pages in the wee hours of the night and text messages. I feel like we didn't get to properly celebrate this weekend, either. Too much going on.

I miss him. I miss cuddling up next to him watching TV. I miss the way he smiles mischieviously when he knows I've caught him in the act. I miss having dinnner together. I miss waking up warm and safe, feeling like there is nothing that could possibly go wrong. I miss talking to him about the every day stuff without having to worry about phone bills, texting, or emails.

It is probably just that I am postcall. I always get emotional when I am postcall. Still, I can't help how I feel.

Happy Anniversary, Joelle.