Everything new

Even though I have been here before, it all seems new. Even though I have met these people before, they all seem strange. New hospital, new machine, new chart, new protocols, new nurses, new doctors. It is so frustrating starting anew again. I hate that feeling of having to prove yourself to everyone all over again. This time it is worse. I am "Dr. Maslany's wife", I am looking for a job, I am a "senior resident", I have something to prove. Who I am proving it to? The nurses? The surgeons? The anesthetists? My husband? Myself? All of the above? Once again the black cloud of doubt rises over my head.... Can I do this? Do I have the knowledge, the skills? Will I be good at my job? Will I fit in here? I like it, I really do. Yes, I am hard on myself, I know that. It is just because I want to be GOOD, really good. Great. Fourth day in and my heart still pounds with the mere thought of going to work. Does it ever change? Does it ever get easier?