Home again, home again. Jiggedy jigg.

I am done my month of Peds Anesthesia at the Alberta Children's Hospital. I had a very good time, and I feel like I learned a lot. It is, however, great to be back in the land where people know and trust me, rush hour takes minutes, and it is cold and flat. God bless Saskatchewan!! I missed this place.

I spent my day pretending that I was Jurgen's housewife - cleaning, doing laudry, grocery shopping, and finally cooking dinner. I could get used to that, but I think it would get old after awhile.

I still am plagued by the same fear that I am sure all residents at my stage are plagued with - Can I do this by myself when I am done? I see Jurgen, tired and sick, working so hard. He tells me about the cases that he is doing and I often think, "Holy crap! What would I have done?" Sometimes I just don't know. I would like to think that when it came down to it, I would know, but it scares me nonetheless. I guess that is why they say that this year is all about cases. Do more, see more, so that when you are on your own you will at least have seen it once before.

I am looking forward to the day when I am comfortable with what I do. I am looking forward to the day when the biggest worry will be what time I will get home to make supper for my family. I am looking forward to the day when my life is no longer "on hold".

blissful moment

I would just like to say that for a brief moment yesturday I was quite possibly the happiest that a person could possibly be.
I was cuddled up in my very comforable bed in Regina, covered in a warm cozy blanket, with my "family" all there. Spooning me was my very lovable, sometimes charming, always hilarious husband. Lying in the space (if there was one) just between our bodies was our youngest cat, Stupe, purring happily. Lying cuddled in my spoon and half asleep was our older cat, Seven, also purring. Ah, so warm, so cozy, so perfect. I kept laughing and turning to tell Jurgen how completely happy at that moment I was. He would grin and respond with kisses. I wanted it to never end. Alas, we eventually got up to face the day.
It is moments like this that you hold on to and save. They keep you grounded, keep you sane, keep you happy. Even in the dark moments there is still the memory of the most perfect Saturday morning.
MMmmmm warm kitties. MMmmmm warm husband. I can't think of anything I would rather do!

Calgary Children's

I have been in Calgary for the last 10 days (well, other than today, as I came home to Regina for the weekend). It has been an interesting experience to say the least. I was really expecting to hate my time here and be completely unhappy (glass half empty?), but I have been pleasantly surprised. I have discovered that I may not know everything yet and still have a way to go before I am comfortable, but I am good at my job. I have been told several times here (as well as at home) that I am very good with the patients. So important when they are under the age of 18!
I was thrown into a "resident room" (a room with very little supervision, essentially my own room) my second day. I have done fiberoptic intubations on kids less than 5. I have done craniotomies (which included arterial lines and central lines), given an anesthetic to a child who's age brings him to not even being full term yet, and plan to do another big case on Monday.
Outside the OR, my friends in Calgary have risen to the occaision to make sure that I am distracted enough not to miss my family in Regina. We have been to the Farmer's market, to Kensington, and out for supper. I am planning to venture out to Ikea, Chinook Centre, and more dinners out.
Of course, coming home to Regina and seeing Jurgen and "the girls" really helped. Then, next weekend Jurgen comes and we go to Banff for the long weekend. Then, call and three days later I come back to regina for 4 days.
The only thing that has really sucked while being in Calgary has been the driving. The first couple of days I was really unhappy, taking forever to get home, getting lost all the time, and feeling lonely. I still get lost, but, luckily, Jurgen is giving me his GPS to take back.
Well, this just proves that with low expectations and a little perserverence I can do anything!!