hope

I have no motivation. It is gone. Only a week until the exam and I have lost my steam. Jurgen says that is normal. That everyone gets to that point around now. It makes me a little worried, acutally. What if because of this I don't do as well? Well, maybe that should be motivation enough. Unfortunately, what comes along with the lack of motivation is also a complete lack of caring. Apathy. Totally fitting. I feel a little pathetic. I just want it over.
As the days tick down, and it gets closer and closer to the date, I am more and more excited just to be finished. I am excited to not be a resident. I am excited to pack up my house and move somewhere new. I have lived here for 14 years (except the first year of residency in Regina, does that count?). It is time for a change. Good or bad, there is still change. I am hoping for good.
A friend lately told me that my emails were less about despair recently, but more about hope. I guess that is how I feel - hopeful. I am still not absolutely confident that I will pass, but I am hopeful. I am still unclear of my future, but I am hopeful.
Think of me one week tomorrow. Send happy vibes. Send positive energy.

Send hope.