sensitive

I wish I wasn't so sensitive. Maybe then this whole process wouldn't be so bad. If I could let my ego get a bit bruised and not worry about it, it wouldn't hurt so much. But that isn't me. Why can't I take constructive criticism? The people who are giving it to you aren't trying to hurt you, they are trying to help you. So why does it hurt so bad? I hope I am not the only person who feels this way, but maybe other people just have "thicker skin" than me. Maybe, for me, the only way to motivate me is to scare me, hurt me, poke fun at me. Maybe the only thing that drives me is the fear of failure.
I know I should use this. Take control, fix the situation, make it better. Can I do it? I am such a conflict - yes, it is only an exam, yes there are more important things in life, yes I can write it again, yes it doesn't change my true outcome. I tell myself all these things over an over. But, do I believe it? I somehow think that this defines me, but it doesn't. An exam cannot tell you who you are. Then why do I let it control me? Consume me? Attempt to destroy me? Aren't I better than that?
Somehow I have got to grab ahold of this and take control of it. Push these feelings into submission. I will not be controlled. I will not be consumed. I am not destroyed. One moment in time (or several, for that matter) do not make a lifetime.
There is still time. I can still work at this. I can still improve. I can still strive forward. I can still succeed.
If at first you don't suceed.....