Alone again

Driving, tears streamming down my face.
Why do I feel like this?
Is this really such a big deal?
Yes, I love him. Yes, I miss him.
But he is not so far away.
Black thoughts drown me...

Can I do this on my own?
He has always been my rock, my foundation.
Now, alone, I must try to face it.
I am surrounded by self doubt, anxiety.
I don't know what to do,
Where to turn.

There were times
When I wanted to be alone,
When I couldn't handle it anymore.
Sometimes love is difficult.
But, they always say,
be careful what you wish for.

Leaving Regina

Well, Monday will be my last day in Regina. I will be back for December and then I will be doing Anesthesia (which will be great!). I am looking forward to being back in Saskatoon, and back doing Anesthesia, and looking forward to being one step closer to being finished, but I am a little apprehensive about going back. I haven't had to do any call here, and that has been nice. I have had all of my weekends off, so I have been able to really enjoy myself. It has almost been like I have been a regular JOe (no punn intended!). In Saskatoon it will be back to the grind - call, presentations, studying, stress. And now, no husband. Sure, I take him for granted, but there is no one that understands me like he does! Despite what I say when I am mad at him, I will miss him. I am of two minds about the next 23 months (who's counting?!). On one hand I can't wait for it all to be over and to start really LIVING (I can't believe how much happier Jurgen is now that he is working). On the other hand, I am dreading the process of finishing. I know that the next 2 years will be hard (perhaps the hardest thing I have ever had to do), and that is very daunting. I also have a lot of doubt - Can I really do this? Am I smart enough? Will I be able to handle it? will I be good at my job?
I guess we all have self doubt. The only way to really find out if we are good enough/smart enough is to see it through to the end!
Wish me luck....

Saskatchewan Summers

This summer reminds me of the summers of old. The last two summers have been cold, rainy, and very short. This year has been absolutely fantastic thus far. We have been blessed by beautiful weather this year, which allows me and my hubby to enjoy it to its fullest. We spent another gorgeous day at the lake today. This included a little swimming, some water skiing, a few beers, and a whole day of hanging out with friends having a good time. This is what I remember Sask. summers to be like - so hot that if you don't have AC you almost wish you were dead!
Jurgen's parents are in Hornby right now, and my parents just got back from Idaho. I have to admit that the only trips I will be making this summer is back and forth from Saskatoon to Regina. However, I don't see it as all that bad. This has been a great summer so far and I wouldn't want to be anywhere else!
A few days of relaxing in the sun, sure does make it easier to go back to work!

Regina

I am enjoying my second week here in Regina. Jurgen has been working hard (he made more money in one day than I do in an entire month!), but luckily I have not had to work too hard. It has given me some time to read, work on my grand rounds topic, and organize our new home.

We have been enjoying what fun things are in and around Regina - a little waterskiing at Pasqua lake, some bike riding on the trails near our house, and of course, great restaurants. I was thinking today that I could live here, at least for a little while!

I just learned that one of my MJ friends is moving to Regina. That is so good! The only thing that I really don't like about Regina is the fact that I really don't know anyone here. So, having a friend, would make it Great!

Canmore trip

We just got back from our (short) trip to Canmore. It was a blast! If we had known all the fun things there are to do, or what an amazing town this is, we would have stayed longer. Alas, off to Calagary to shop up a storm, and then back home to Regina. Here are a couple of pics of the action. I am the one in the light-blue jacket second from the back. Note the sequece! I only thought we were going to die for a little while! Luckily, we were both OK and would do it again!