e-mail to Jen

This is an email that I sent to my very good friend Jennie. It describes how I have been feeling:
As I told Jurgen, I am just frustrated. I just want to be able to give an anesthetic. If people want me to do it their way, fine, I can do that. If they want me to do it my way, then they should shut the hell up and let me do it. Saskatoon was frustrating for different reasons than Regina - mostly because I missed Jurgen terribly, hated driving back and forth, and he is not good on the phone. Here it is about really wanting to impress people so that they will like me for me and want to hire me for me, not just because I am married to Jurgen. Then, when I work with them and they criticize things that would just be standard in Saskatoon, it is frustrating. Especially when some of their reasoning doesn't make sense, and when some of it is wrong. I have figured out that I could live/work here. I have figured out that my relationship with Jurgen is not doomed. I have also had just about enough... I think it is time to go back to Saskatoon. At least there if they are criticizing me, it is likely because I am just being stupid. And if they tell me something, likely they are telling me what is right (although not always). I know it will be difficult to get through this year, but I also know that I will love my job WHEN i AM FINISHED. I just have to get there. The tunnel is still long, with very little light.

Regina has been great. I like the people here, I like the cases here, I love my house here, I LOVE my hubby here. It is time for a break, and then back to Saskatoon for more learning and getting on with things. Come one, count down!!