Happiness is...

Getting to sleep in before call.
Waking up with both of my kitties.
Warm coffee.
Lying in the sun with Stupe on my chest purring.
Knowing that I leave for a month with Jurgen tomorrow.
Knowing that in 6 days I leave for TO with Jennie.
Going to the ballet with my mother.
Sunshine.
Fresh air.
Nachos.

Overreaction

OK. OK. So maybe I overreacted last night with Jurgen's comment. I suppose I can see that now. He thinks he is funny. We have a difference of opinion.
I am just feeling sorry for myself. I hate being sick. Fatigued, nauseated, unable to breathe. Sigh.
It didn't help that I went to work today hoping for an easy day with a great attending, and Fate did not deliver. My attending was still great - Love Dr. K. Stewart! However, the easy day ended just before noon when our anesthetic consisted of muscle relaxant and kind words. The guy was from ICU and firmly trying to die on us. The anesthetic was purely a rescusitation, not a true anesthetic. Exhausting, and emotionally draining. I did learn from the case (as I am trying to do with everything these days), so not a total loss. Krissie (my attending) then sent me home (bless her).
I talked to Jurgen. It is better. We are better.
I just need a vacation.

Sick Day

Jurgen has been sick 4 times in 8 months. I don't know if it is related to the amount that he works, that he doesn't sleep enough or eat well enough, or if it has to do with the fact that he has an IgA deficiency. Anyway, he is sick a lot. I walk around flaunting the fact that I never get sick. Oh, I can share your drink, kiss you, I won't get sick. It has finally caught up with me. It started on Monday night on call with just the sniffles, then sneezes. Today (Wednesday) I woke up feeling yucky. Classic cold - stuffy runny nose, sneezing, headache, fatigue. I thought seriously about going to work, but in the end I decided I needed a "sick day".

It was actually a productive day - got lots of studying done, but also, the usual sick day stuff. It was more what Annabelle calls a "mental health day". We all need those once in awhile. Lets you get "reset" and caught up mentally. The only think that would have made this day a perfect sick day would have been having the girls here (they are with their Dad).

All was well, until just now. I just got off the phone with Jurgen (on call) and now am mad. He was talking to me in the OR. We were having a normal conversation, and I was really interested in his day, when he brings up the fact that he thinks he should have his own chair in the OR (one especially made for him). OK, like I really give a care. He can look like a total loser if he wants to. Besides, I wouldn't be paying for it anyway. However, to bring it up in front of the nurses makes me look like I do care, and I am the one preventing it. I told him he shouldn't do that because it makes me look like a bitch. He says, "well, if the shoe fits.." Hardy har har, oh so funny. So, I hung up.
He is such a child! It is that kind of crap, that creates anamosity between me and the Regina people. They start to think that I am just this awful controlling person (how much control do I have when I can't even get my husband to stay in the same city as me?!), and then when I come there that is how they will treat me. Does he not want me to come there? Does he want it to be awful for me? Does he want me to be the catalyst that will take us out of this province? Does he want me around at all?
Maybe I am reading too much into all of this, but when you are at home, sick, feeling sorry for yourself, that is not exactly how you want to be treated.
Men suck

I hate computers

Short post, I promise.
Jurgen was using my computer Sunday, came running down and said I couldn't use it anymore. While he was using it, it apparently started to smoke. I didn't see it. It has never happened to me. I am not sure I believe him.
I have been wanting a new computer, so I thought what a great opportunity to get one. We shopped all over (quickly) for one and I finally bought one at this place. I discover (stupid me) as I am paying for it that it is actually refurbished. I wouldn't have bought it if I had known this, and it is now too late (they don't take them back). Then they tell me that they can take my hard drive out and put it externally and I will be able to access it from there. They alos say that I can still use my other computer. Oh, and I am able to get a Vista upgrade too.
Yeah, the upgrade? No one seems to know how to do it, but they all claim I am eligible. I have phoned 3 different places in two different countries to no avail.
Then, I am using my computer and the stupid mouse is too "twitchy" and it keeps jumping ahead. So, I go buy this cool wireless one, and now can't figure out how to even put the stupid batteries in! I don't want to break it, but can it really be that hard?
Oh, and so the hard drive. Yeah, plugged it in, can't find anything. All of my documents seem to be gone. And does my other computer work now? NO!!
Like I said, the computer never did anything to me. Sure, it was slow, and had a few bugs, but it was definately better than this piece of crap!
Yeah, computers are not my strong point. OK, I am clueless when it comes to hardwear and softwear and all that, but at least I could get it to do what I wanted it to. Now I am just stuck. I wish I had never bought this stupid computer.
Even our wireless now doesn't work, so I am at the plug in.


GGGGGGggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!

Our Banff trip

This is a little late, as I have already posted, but I still wanted to post some pics of our trip to Banff. We had a romantic weekend filled with skiing, great food, and a jacuzzi tub! It was fantastic!

These are some of the animals we saw. Above, are some deer that were up the mountain. Below, are some caribou who were hanging out in the park right near our hotel. Apparently, they are there a lot. Such beautiful animals!!

My next journey will be to TO to visit Jennie. That trip will hopefully be filled with great food, good times, and shopping (no jacuzzi this time, sorry boys)! Stay tuned for more pics!

first week back to St Paul's

My first week back in Saskatoon has been an exciting and exhilarating one. I was worried about coming back, but worried specifically about being at SPH. It is different there, more surgeon driven, often anesthesia unfriendly. I have had some bad experiences there before.

This week was different. I don't know whether it is this new attitude I am attempting to adopt, or what, but even though I did some scary stuff, I felt it went well. Tuesday, I heard through the grapevine that there was a patient with a ruptured AAA (the biggest artery in the body) coming in. Now normally they have a mortality rate of almost 100%, some don't even make it to hosptial. This guy did, and I wanted to be there. I asked the attending (who is not always the nicest person) if I could stay (as it was at the end of the day) to help. He agreed, and it turned out really well. He was good to me, I was helpful, I feel like I learned a lot, and I wasn't 100% overwhelmed. It is always comforting to see people whom you respect struggle with the same things that you do. God was on our side that night. We made it off the table, made it to ICU, and they are planning on taking his breathing tube out today!! I would like to think that I helped make a difference and even aided in saving this man's life (even if others are not as impressed as all that).

I then stayed to do another case with this attending. A case that we don't get to see very often, but not as scary. I think he was impressed that I was showing initiative. Makes me happy that I may be able to handle some of that stuff as well now. I didn't get home until 9pm (having been there since 7am), and was exhausted after, but it was definately worth it.

Wednesday was Pain Clinic. Makes me realize that I don't want to do that full time, but it could potentially be a nice break from the OR, at least I would get to look nice once in awhile (instead of just in PJs all the time). The patients are, however, a bit nuts.

Finally, Thursday was a great day with an attending who is super nice and basically let me run the room and do my own thing. Today, Friday is a "bank day" at SPH and so I didn't have to go. Gave me some time to study, Blog, and get organized. I still have to go back for "half day", but that is always enjoyable.

All in all, a good week to start of with.