Christmas Woes

I was at a party last night when someone asked me if I like Christmas. I think I like the idea of Christmas: I like the decorations, I love the carols, I love getting a tree and setting it up, I love shopping for gifts and seeing people open them, I love what it represents. However, I don't actually like the day. I find cooking stressful (I haven't quite figured out the whole cooking a turkey thing), I find being around my family for long periods stressful. I would much rather have Christmas cuddled up with my kitties and my hubby by a fire, carols softly playing in the background, watching a movie or reading a book, with a mug of "hot toddy" beside me. Doesn't that sound grand? Alas, I know my family waits anxiously for this day to see us and spend time with us. Maybe if we had kids it would be different - there little faces so full of excitement as they open their gifts from Santa.

That brings me to another issue: Kids. Suddenly, last night Jurgen's mother told me that her grandmother gene has turned on, and now she wants us to have kids. Where did this come from? I always thought I could count on her to support us in our decision to not have kids. And that decision is getting stronger. I like my life. Every time I see a couple with a baby, they tell me how much their life has changed, and then they say how much better it is. Yeah, I am not so sure. When someone tells you that they can only leave the house without the baby for 2 hours because they are breast feeding and it needs to feed that often, that doesn't sound like fun. When someone says that they barely have time to shower, that doesn't sound like fun. When I spend some time with children running out of control, kicking small animals, and screaming at the top of their lungs, that wasn't fun. How can anyone say that it is a good thing. I think kids secrete some hallucinagenic phermone that tricks you into thinking it is wonderful to be around them so that you don't just leave them in a snow bank after the first day. Parasites.

Holy! Am I ever being a Grinch!

On a happier note, I have very much enjoyed the last few days. I have taken a break from thursday until now to just enjoy life a bit. Go out for dinner, go to a Chrismas party, go see a friend in MJ, go shopping. Lovely. Not once did I stress about not studying, because I was on Christmas vacation. Today, however, I decided that I really needed to get some work done (it is Sunday, and that is my traditional "study-all-day" day. So back to the books it is.

For all of you and yours, I wish you whatever happy Christmas dreams you have. Whether it be curling up with your kitties and hubby, cooing carols to your new baby, watching Christmas movies with the kids, or just a sense of peace, may it be yours.
Remember why we have this day. Remember who it is about. Remember there is ALWAYS someone out there who cares.

And, have a very Merry Christmas.

This year

When I look back on this year I hope I remember not all the bad, but all the good:
All the people who supported me and encouraged me.
All the stuff I learned, about my job, my patients, and myself.
That one year doesn't define you, doesn't make or break you.
And, finally, that no matter what, at the end of the day when I come home, my cats still love me!

Awake

I just came home from the movie "Awake". When the movie ended, with its melodramatic ending, the words out of my mouth were, "That was ridiculous".
The Anesthesiologist who was, of course, drunk. Why would they be portrayed any other way? I haven't seen it. First on Grey's Anatomy and now this.
The operating room was all wrong. Their Anesthesia machine looked like it was from the 1920's. There was no perfusionist running the bypass machine, and they sent the anesthetist away on a "break" before they went on bypass.
No art line, no CVP. Sure something in the background that might have been a TEE picture, but no one running the probe.
He was in "Fib" a couple of times, but gee, that looks like asystole to me.
To top it off, his mother saves him by overdosing herself so that he can have her heart. Yeah, cause you know her heart is going to be just fine after all those pills she took. No problem there.
I could go on, but why bother?
You know, the funny thing is if they had just consulted the right people, they could have made it look a lot more realistic, a lot more freaky.
As my hubby said to me, real life is a lot more exciting. Our lives anyway.
I love my job.