Who do I listen to?

I came home depressed and frustrated today (again!) with work. When I was asked, "What happened?" All I could say was, "nothing". No, no one died or (less melodramatic) was harmed in any way. In fact, both of my patients did very well today. On any other day with any other staff I would have come home satisfied. But, not today. Today I worked with my Program Director. I feel like nothing goes right when I am with him. Not only that, but he is a perfectionist and so even if it did go right, it wouldnt' be enough. And, after speaking with a friend in another specialty, he is not alone in making residents feel the way he does. I guess they feel it is their job to "tell it like it is" and give you that little "nudge" they think you need to motivate you. Constructive criticism? More like Destructive criticism. My delicate ego needs more right now. I don' t need someone to inform me of how little I know, I am acutely aware of the situation. What's more, is pointing it out actually just proves the futility of all of this.

On the other hand, there have been some people lately who have given me glowing recommendations and compliments. These people see me day in and day out. They see the long term effects of what I do in the OR - the recovery room nurses. They have been telling me lately how wonderful they think I am, that they trust me, and think I do an excellent job. Also, some of the OR nurses have also complimented me lately on how good with kids they thought I was (What a compliment!).

Then there is my husband - Ever my cheering section. He does not bat an eye when I tell him how frustrated I am, he has been there. He recognizes some of the lines people have been feeding me for the garbage it is. I just keep thinking that if I can just make it through the next few months, maybe I, too, will love my job as much as he loves his.

So, who do I listen to? The people who have seen it all and think they know it all (not just my program director), the ones who see me in action on a day-to-day basis, or the ones who know me intimately? Hard to say. I guess it depends on my mood....

Today, I will listen to my hubby. After all, in the end, he is the one who has to live with me.