priorities

Oh, the turmoil in my life right now. Jurgen and I just got into a fight because he was booked into the OR here in Sasktoon the week that my Dad is to have his surgery. He says he can't cancel his day because he has a responsibility to his patients and the surgeons. What about his responsibility to me and my family? Shouldn't that come first? He doesn't seem to think so.

Also, I love him and love that he is here, but I couldn't help thinking today that it might be easier if he wasn't. There is no noise here (TV, video games, etc.) when he isn't here. I don't have to worry about being imaginative with dinner when he isn't here. If I want to have Kraft Dinner and hot dogs for supper, I can and no one cares. I don't have to share my computer with anyone when he isn't here. I can go for a run, come home sweaty and sit around in my work out clothes if I feel like it.

On the other hand, I am lonely and depressed when he isn't here. I miss him when he isn't here.
It is still hard, either way.