Baby steps

Every day is a new milestone. Every day is a small step forward. Baby steps. First the confusion left. Then he was able to move his foot and leg a bit. Then he was able to move his arm a bit. Then even his hand. Now his speech is improving. Slowly. Slowly. An inch at a time.
Man! He is strong. Man! So is she. I don't know if I could be as strong as them.
What do I do? Encourage. Be positive. Help with the exercises. Encourage. Be postive.
It will return. It will come back. Don't you worry. We will work together.
The tears are lessening as the strength is returning.
Leaving now is hard. Knowing that they rely so much on me. But I must continue with the other challenge. The dark cloud which was replaced by another much darker one, is starting to return.
If he can do it, one step at a time, perhaps maybe I can too.
Baby steps

Reality check

My last blog was very postitive. Perhaps too much so. I was censoring what I was really fearing and thinking.
Dad did not do as well as hoped. There was a complication. Dad has had a stroke. We don't know when it happened, or what the actual cause was, but that is reality.
The hardest thing you will ever have to do in your life is to watch your parents suffer. Watching my father not be able to move his right side, being confused, and unable to talk to us was the worst thing ever.
Since yesturday, however, we have seen some improvements. Baby steps.
Being sad is draining. Maybe soon I won't have tears left to cry.

The Other Side of Medicine

Dad's surgery was today. Is is ever horrible to be on the other side of things! The worst - the waiting. I felt like my chest was going to explode, my tachycardia was taking over, and I constantly had to pee. Now the stress of the exam will feel like nothing.
Dad went down to "holding" at 7am. At that point, he was feeling very relaxed because of the medication they had given him. Thank God for Ativan! That made it easier on all of us. He was making jokes and feeling good.
We then went for breakfast, and then back home for a bit. We thought we should be back to the hosptial by 11am incase they finished early. But, they didn't. We waited, and waited, and waited. I became more and more nervous. Are they having problems coming off pump? Is he crashing? What complications have possibly occured? Every possible problem ran through my mind.
Jurgen luckily was able to snoop out some info. It seems there was a bit of a leak around the valve and they needed to go back on bypass to fix it. Otherwise things were going well. They finally came in around two thirty to talk to us and tell him about the leak and say he was in ICU. It seems that they didn't quite fix it, but it wasn't bad enough to warrant replacing everything and starting over. I wasn't happy to hear that it wasn't perfect, but what could I expect? There are always complications (however minor) with medical families.
In the end, he is in ICU doing very well. All of his vitals look really good. His colour looks good, and he is not on any medications to support his blood pressure.
It was, however, really stressful. It was really hard on my family, and hard for me, too. I needed to be strong for them, and so I was. Thank goodness that Jurgen was there so that we could have a breather together and he could support me.
I think the team did a fantastic job. They worked really hard to make sure that everything went as well as humanly possible. I am happy the way things are going.
The next 24 hours will really tell. They have decided to have one more look with the transesophageal echo to look at his heart tomorrow. They will leave the breathing tube in until after that, and he will remain sedated and comfortable until then. I am sure by that point that they will be happy with the results, and so will I.
Please continue to keep my family in your thoughts and prayers. I know that so many people are rooting for Dad and that is fantastic.
Just a couple more days....

Prayers for Dad

If any of you read this before Monday, Please pray for my Dad. His OR is Monday morning. He will be the first case of the day. He is having his Aortic valve replaced and one bypass. For those who don't know, this involved putting him to sleep, opening up his chest, stopping his heart, putting him on the heart-lung machine, opening up the largest vessel in his body, taking out his valve, and replacing it with a bioprosthetic valve (pig valve), then connecting a vein from his leg to his heart, restarting up his heart, and taking him off the machine. Tomorrow night he will be in ICU. Tomorrow he will have plastic tubes coming from everywhere. I know what to expect, but it is different when it is someone you know and love. It will be hard to see. It will be hard to be on the other side of things.

I know he is in very good hands. I trust the surgeon, Anesthesiologist, and nurses that will be looking after him. They are a great team. Nonetheless, I am still worried.

Please have my family in your thoughts and prayers. Please think of my Dad. Please pray for a job well done, and a speedy recovery.

Maui

Maui was beautiful! Great weather, lots of fun and sun, and some great people to spend it with!
It is so hard to have pictures of us when we travel. This was taken by an Aussie girl who was just walking by.
The real reason for the trip was Annabelle and Laurent's wedding. It was beautiful! What a great couple!
We did two snorkelling trip. This was taken by "Black Rock" where we saw lots of fish, heard the whales singing, and even saw Sea Turtles!!

It was a great trip!