Resolution

Well, if you read my last blog you realize I was very upset (and with good reason), but I got the chance at resolution. At the end of my night on call (the end of the OR anyway, I still had to go to Obs for epidurals), PMD (the nasty attending) told me to sit down and that he wanted to talk to me. Since I had had several hours to compose myself (not to mention already having a good cry) I was able to calmly stand my ground. He told me that the reason he sent me away was two-fold: first he thought I wasn's focussed as I was chatting with one of the nurses, and second he didn't think that I understood the severity of this rare case. I stated that instead of "punishing" me and treating me like a two year old, he could have addressed the problem in a couple of more constructive ways. I suggested that he could have asked me to be quiet and focus on the task at hand, or at the very outset he could have explained how sick the patient was and the plan of action. The latter would have been better, I told him, as it would have allowed me to get my "game face" on. As for not fully understanding the case, I suggested that the way to go about that was to allow me to start the case, get the patient settled, and then ask me to go and look up the Anesthetic considerations of that case so that we might discusss it together. I also told him that I appreciated his concerns and that I would work harder to focus on the task at hand.
It was a long conversation, but I feel that I was able to make my point while both acknowledging his concerns and still saving face. I told Jurgen all this and he said he was really proud of me. He thinks I am getting "balls". Hopefullly that is only a figure of speech!! Just kidding. I guess this is what being an adult is really about.
In the end I think that my relationship with PMD will be better. He is definately someone you would want on your side, not against you.